Am I tripping?

One of the yoga teachers Y-sensei at the studio just went on vacation to Amsterdam. She brought back a whole bunch of these black gummy candies and left them on the counter for everyone to try.

And so I had one, and was like, hmmmm. It's weirdly... yummy.

Two weeks later, the same candies were still there, in the opened bag. I helped myself to another. Y-sensei told me, "You know what, please just take them! Noone likes them!" Why thank you.

Am I tripping? I brought them to the bar and fed them to the bartenders and other friends. Comment 1: Ugh!!! This is like the thing my chihuahua makes. Comment 2: GROSS!!! This is GROSS. Comment 3: Waaa! Smells like grandmas! Comment 4: I'm sure 99 percent of Japanese can't eat this.

Am I really tripping??? So... try to imagine this: it tastes like shio-kombu (salted sea kelp), 99% dark chocolate, molasses, soy-sauce, prunes, and licorice combined into a gummy black mass. YUMMMY!!!

I dunno. I just like to take them with me places and feed them to people and see what they say. Wanna try one? Holler at me.

Goin to the Gas Station

I was in cereal need of a dental check-up. My grandma keeps saying, there's nothing more important than your teeth! It's because lately she can't eat all the things she used to (nuts, crackers, and other unyeiling edibles) and it makes her sad to lose.

The were four people waiting in front of me as i filled out the form for first-timers. What is the purpose of your visit? How do you say check-up in Japanese?

Usually, when I went to the dentist, It took awhile, even for just a cleaning: Poke around with pointy hook instrument, scrape nooks and crannies, run circular motions with automated rubbery cleaning tool over every tooth, choose a flouride flavor... one hour. But the four before me were in and out in twenty minutes. I was lead into a room with three chairs lined up extremely close to one another. There were no walls or curtains separating me from my neighbor. And then the dentist shined his rickety arm-light onto my face and jammed his obnoxious gloved fingers into my mouth and I felt strangely violated. Heyyyy, this is a very personal space!

Anyway, i got my teefs cleaned but it felt more like ground and sanded and i saw plaque literally fly out to the east and west. It was all very rough and fast -this dremmel rattling my whole dome, reminding me of the fact that my teeth were a part of my head, stuck into my skull.

Alrightie. No cavities. Next!

This ish is BANANAS

I went to get my hair did the other day. The first thing i notice is my hairstylist's crazy eyelashes. Woah. What's UP with those? Apparently she has been using this "treatment" that makes them grow and grow and grow. You apply it like eye-liner every night and this is what 3 months of it will do. Japan doesn't have it out on the market but you can get it for an alarming $150 in the US. Go figure. If you ask me... scaaaaryyy~!

First Greetings

What it is people! Happy 08!!!

The Japanese pay special attention to the firsts of the year- The first sunrise of the year (hatsu-hinode), the first temple visit of the year (hatsu-mode), first day of work (shigoto-hajime)
Uhhh… the first book I finished reading was What is the What by Dave Eggers. One of those can’t-put-it-down gems.
The first non-Jamaican to take the title of dancehall queen was Junko “Bashment” Kudo, in 1992.
This young man is Japan’s first Black enka (the Japanese equivalent country music) singer.
The first washlet toilet was introduced in 1980 with the Toto’s Washlet G series. What is a washlet you ask? To quote wikipedia, it is a Western-style toilet with a bidet that “include[s] many advanced features rarely seen outside of Asia. Depending on the exact model, these bidets are designed to open the lid when they sense a user nearby, wash the anus or vulva of the user (including a number of pulsating and massaging functions), dry afterwards with warm air, flush automatically and close the lid after use.” For a fascinating read on Japanese toilets, go here.
Those are some retarded but fun "first" facts.
What were your firsts of the year?

Peace and pure niceness in 08 y’all!

Whatchu Know About Caterpillars?

I came back from Shikoku with a backpack of dirty clothes so I did a big load of laundry. I noticed a bunch of tiny yellowish caterpillars about 1cm. long on the ground of my little yard where I have my washing machine. After coming inside, I felt something on my neck and saw that it was one of those little guys crawling around on me. I didn’t think much of it until the next morning, when I had what looked like a huge welt on the back of my neck, and my whole body was spotted itchy. So itchy I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The dermatologist was flabbergasted and took a photo of the raised splotchiness. Waaa! Who ever knew about poisonous caterpillar hairs? Certainly not I!! Several shots and tons of topical hormonal cream later, I am slowly recovering.

Ignorance Ain’t Bliss

I got invited to a tea ceremony by an acquaintance that I hardly know. She said to me at a bar over loud music, HEY! COME TO MY TEA CEREMONY NEXT MONTH!! And I was like, OK! LET ME KNOW!

The biggest misunderstanding I had was that being in a tea ceremony is a passive act, like watching people in a show. In actuality, according to Wikipedia, “even to participate as a guest in a formal tea ceremony requires knowledge of the prescribed gestures and phrases, the proper way to take tea and sweets, and general deportment in the tea room.” Say what?

To make the long story short, I was the last to enter the tearoom, and I took the only seat available. This, I would find out later, is The Seat of Honor. Of course, no one wants to sit here because it requires the most knowledge of what to do. Not only that, you are first to be served, so you don’t have anyone to copy. All of this dawned on me way too late. The girl I went with wasn’t much help either. I kept looking to her for help- but she was just as clueless. Basically, there was no way out, so I kind of threw my hands in the air (figuratively of course) and was like, sorry! but unless you want to change spots, you’re just gonna have to watch me fumble along…

So the moral of this story is that ignorance isn't bliss, my friends- if you ever participate in a tea ceremony, know some basic things before you’re sitting in a big pile of doo-doo.